a life in the classroom, living under the desks.

No, this was not happening. Did Stella really think she wanted to talk about women with her? She didn't want to talk about women in general! It terrified her to know she found them attractive and to get that out in the open killed her. What hurt worse was that Stella already seemed to know and they had barely spoken longer than an hour in total. Diana stared down at her cup for a long moment, as if her eyes could burn a hole right through and into the already hot liquid. Yes, her brother sounded like a perv but she couldn't sit here and calmly talk about attraction or that she found legs beautiful or...any of that!

"Ridiculous." She tapped at her phone, preparing for her lie of escape. "God, I'm sorry. You know what I forgot? I have to get something done at the school and I have a doctors appointment this evening." She stood quickly, knocking slightly against the table and grabbing at her cup before it tipped. "I just...I will walk, walking will do these legs some good." She grabbed her bag, thrust her phone in her pocket and then held her cup tightly in the free hand. This was a terrible excuse...but, well, she did have a doctors appointment in the evening...just not that evening.

"I'll see you later, tomorrow. Nice chat and, yeah. Bye." She nodded slightly before beginning to stalk off, trying to get away as quickly as possible. Yes, she was being rude but...it was making her feel uncomfortable!

Stella was going to continue onward, asking about lesbian encounters and share experiences. It was just too ironic that she decided to make friends with probably the only other lesbian in the school. It was almost fate right? That they were supposed to be friends. Because as of right now, Stella was only thinking that way. Diana was someone Stella could talk to, maybe even relate too a little bit. But things were not going as Stella originally thought, and she was quite frozen as Diana suddenly got up. Excuses were thrown her way, and Stella couldn't help but doubt them.

Grabbing onto her cup as the table quaked, Stella pushed back with her feet, scraping the iron chair against the cement. Her mouth opened to say something, anything, or to even take back what she said before. A deep scarlet blush of embarassment rushed to Stella's cheeks and she bit her lip hard, silently cursing herself. Goddamn it, she came on way too strong. Why couldn't she ever hold back? This is what she meant by everyone knew her secrets, and she just didn't have any. No one had to make rumors about her because Stella herself would spit out the truth in six different situations. God, she was such a screwup sometimes.

"Diana!" Standing up quickly after her, Stella grabbed her purse and abandoned the coffee back on the table. Taking rushed steps, she tried to follow. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up a bad subject!" Her shoulders fell and she stopped for a second, no smile on her face. "Please," Stella's voice was apologetic, and so was her pained expression. "At least let me drive you back to the school."

"It isn't a bad subject." Diana hissed, turning around to face Stella and keep her voice low enough so only they could hear their conversation. She didn't trust the people around them, glancing up as though they could care less and yet they were clearly whispering about the two. Why had they gotten up so fast? What was the bad subject? One was mad, the other apologetic...what was happening?

"Look, I do have appointments, that's the only reason I need to leave. I forgot all about them and they're very important." She gave Stella a crooked smile before nodding. "Alright, drive me back to the school..." Diana stepped out of the swinging gate that led to the open area for coffee drinkers and stepped across towards where they left Stella's car. "I am sorry...I didn't mean to get up so quickly and make it seem like I'm, mad or upset or something." She lied, unsure of what else to say. "It's just really difficult to get an appointment and if I miss it, then it could take months to book another one..." Over the top lie, clearly. Stella probably didn't believe her anyways.

"And it isn't a bad subject...I just get a bit nervous talking abut personal issues and sexuality. I have never kissed a woman, I have never even intimately been in a situation with a woman. I've barely even been in a sexual situation with a man!" Diana looked down, ashamed of her lonely life. Yes, she had had sex before. Had she loved it? Not really. Did she like kissing men? No. Women? Never had the opportunity.

Biting her lip, Stella wanted to explain that if it wasn't a bad subject, they'd still be enjoying their coffee. She wanted to explain that the subject could have been changed if Diana didn't want to talk about it. She wanted to apologize (again) for being so open. She didn't want Diana to stop talking to her because she's an idiot.

Instead of voiceing her opinions anymore, Stella shut her big mouth and stayed unusually quiet as Diana talked. Studying the ground, she walked awkwardly, only looking up to reach in her purse for the keys. Stella opened the door after unlocking the small car, throwing her purse in the back. She nodded to Diana, sliding into the grey seats. As much as she wanted to help Diana at this moment in time, it wouldn't do any good if she wasn't comfortable talking about it. Which, Stella could /try/ to change, but it wouldn't do any good if Diana wasn't able to admit it to herself. She did admit it, which was a start somewhere.

Still Stella didn't say much, even as she turned onto the main road toward the school. She edged nervously on her seat. "I need to learn to shut my mouth." She finally mumbled, annoyed with herself. "I hope I didn't offend you too much, and I hope we can still talk sometime. I'm just too open with myself, and other people, I guess." Stella forced a smile pulling back into the school's parking lot, in the same spot she parked in that morning. "I talk too much, especially about myself. Never really learned that other people don't exactly enjoy doing the same thing. I guess I should just wear a sign thats says 'WARNING, constantly makes uncomfortable situations'." Stella gave a quavering grin, thinking about how honest that was.

Mostly the ride, on her part, was silent. Stella was speaking and Diana felt terrible for making her feel like she set an awkward situation. Yes, the woman talked far too much but it was something Di was beginning to enjoy, she never wanted to shut the other woman up. "Being open isn't the worst thing in the world." She finally spoke, grinding her teeth in a habit that certainly wasn't good before continuing on with her thought. "A lot of people would kill to be able to tell the truth about themselves so openly, instead of having to hide everything," No, she didn't want to be as open as Stella but being even a little bit proud of herself would certainly hange quite a bit.

It took her a moment to realize they had reached the school and she should be exiting the car. Unhooking her seatbelt, Di paused before hesitantly placing a hand over Stella's. "I'm sorry for my overreaction." It was clear from her facial expression that even touching her hand was takin quite a bit of strength. She just hated touchng people, but she felt the need to do it at that moment. "I would really enjoy remaining or...well, becoming friends with you. I promise next time I will not get up and leave." She patted the hand beneath herself before moving to grab her bag from in between her feet.

"And don't learn to shut your mouth. You might be the best thing that happens to this school just because you aren't afraid of the truth."

Putting the car into park, Stella didn't get out or unbuckle her seatbelt. Her day was over, as far as she was concerned, and the fun didn't last as long as she would have liked. Stella's own damn fault, she figured. Well... There was always tomorrow. Inhaling deeply, she knew she'd be thinking about this all the rest of the day and even more tonight. She'd come up with something, some reason to talk to Diana again, and maybe even another reason to ask her out for coffee. Tomorrow, she'd bring her lunch again and go to the lounge late and perhaps even sit with Diana again. Though, something told Stella that the other woman wouldn't exactly be looking for her.

The slight touch of hands had Stella's head snapping up in Diana's direction. Surprised, to say the least, her hazel brown eyes went wide. This was obviously something Diana didn't do often, so Stella didn't move. She froze in thought and emotion, not even letting herself blink. It was like a wild animal approaching Stella, and she didn't want to scare her away. Her words made Stella think, turning them over and over in her mind as Diana moved away. The whole 'I won't get up and leave' made it seem like more of something she chose to do instead of an 'appointment' making her do so.

The last sentence, however, made Stella smile, lighting up her eyes. "W-well, thank you... for that." She stammered, not quite sure how to respond. "We'll see how it turns out... I mean... Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow, I hope."

"Yes, you'll see me tomorrow." Diana spoke, getting from the car before giving the other woman a slight smile. "Don't dwell on bad thoughts." Shutting the door, Diana made her way to her own car, feeling more comfortable within her personal property. The next day would be better, she would make sure of it!

--

After a long, sleepless night, Diana found herself at the elementary school hours before the time she should have been there. She spent a while in the darkness of her classroom, staring up at the glow in the dark stars. It didn't feel like two hours had passed when she realized other teachers were slowly filtering into the school. The day starts at eight, they came in at seven...usually. Standing from her spot on the floor, Di flipped on her room lights and made her way to the desk across the room. It was going to be a long day, she could feel it.
By lunch time she was aching and exhausted, not ready to handle anything apart from the final bell. Her students ran from the room to the safety of their lunches and playtime, while she busied herself erasing the board. "Knock, knock." A man said, entered the room and scaring the living crap out of her.

"Oh! Principal Leonard." She welcomed, placing the eraser down on the ledge provided. "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to catch you before you left for lunch." He began, reaching in his trouser pocket for a folded peice of paper. "This paper tells you everything you need to know but I figured I'd tell you myself, too." He could practically see Diana tensing. "You need to repaint this room the color the school had agreed on. Also, some of these posters aren't appropriate for the class-"

"What do you mean? They're educational posters..."

"They're highschool posters, basically."

"I believe my students are mature enough to understand them! It's not like posters have a rating or anyth-"

"Here. Just do what it says, Ms. Hart." He turned and walked from her room, leaving diana with a small peice of paper explaining exactly what he just said. With a sigh she turned and sat behind her desk again, not feeling very hungry. For a moment she debated going to find Stella and then looked down at herself before deciding against it. She was wearing a gray sweater with a pink pin, she had wanted to impress, with gray pinstripe pants and heels. Now, well, the outfit look dreary and sad on the blonde who was inches away from tears.

Stella watched Diana go for a minute before turning her car around and slowly making her way out of the parking lot and to the main roads. She chose to spend the night at her parents house, as she did about three nights a week. They always made her feel back to herself again. Her mother always got her talking, and her father and brother made her laugh. The family was doing well, despite her father being in the hospital a few hours every other day.

Once home, she drug though a few old boxes to find what she was looking for. A few pins from when she was in high school. She didn't need them anymore. Diana would like them. Smiling once again, Stella put the pins in her purse. One was a flattened spoon with a hand-painted and detailed red-orange flower. The other was just a few wires crossed together and bent to look like a music note. As she pocket the pins, she pulled out the sticker and one of her newer binders. Carefully pealing off the back, Stella placed the sticker next to one a student had given her a year or so ago.

The morning found the woman running late, as usual. She over slept her alarm (again) and grabbed a piece of toast for the ride to the car. By the time she got to school at ten after seven, she realized she forgot to bring a lunch. Oh well, the school day didn't end that late, she'd get something on her way home that afternoon. Pushing the thought out of her head, Stella was going to find Diana before eight when school started. However, she got a little too caught up in setting up the classroom for the day. Before she knew it, the first students were trickling in. Turning back to the chalkboard, Stella silently cursed before putting on a bright and cheery expression.

The morning came and went and finally the bell rang for lunch. She was a little hungry, but nothing a bottle of water wouldn't fix. Snagging her purse from her desk, Stella made her way to the teachers lounge. Entering without a sound, she glanced over the people only to find Diana not in the room. Double checking the table they sat at yesterday, Stella sighed. Maybe she wasn't there today. Getting a bottle of water from the vending machine, she left just as quickly as she entered, feeling eyes on her back. Whispers be damned, Stella was heading towards Diana's room.

Passing the principal on the way, Stella gave a polite smile and nod in his direction. He, just as stark and politely, gave one back and Stella only wondered if he knew her name. But all was forgotten as she hit her knuckles against the door frame.

"Diana? Hey, thought you weren't here today or something. Checked the lounge." She tilted her head slightly, studying the other woman for a second before setting her water down on a nearby desk and reaching into her purse. "Here." Stella beamed, proud of herself for doing something nice. "I found these at home and figured you'd like them more then I needed them." Holding out the pins in her palm, Stella took a step toward Diana, half wondering if she was okay.

"Yes, sorry." She murmured, looking up from the paper. It was the fourth time she had read it before being interrupted by Stella, not that she minded. If she read it one more time she was going to scream. "I don't spend much of my time in the break room. The people there don't fully enjoy my company and, well, I can't face them when I know they're all laughing at me." She rubbed a bit at her eyes before standing to view the offering Stella provided.

"Oh, they're gorgeous." Moving to take them from her hand, Diana found herself completely enthralled in the pins. They were beautiful, clearly with a lot of effort put into them. "Are these homemade?" Turning, she placed them gently on the center of her desk so she would remember to bring them home. These would go on the lapel of the coat! Or, maybe they would go somewhere so she could see them everyday. they were a lovely gift.

Sitting heavily back in her chair, Diana found herself staring up at the stars again. "They wrote me a letter explaining that I need to repaint and take down certain posters. It kills me to know they're laughing at me in that room right now."

"They aren't very nice." Stella frowned, glancing anywhere but at Diana for a moment. "I dunno, I just think they need someone to distract them. Maybe if I talk to some of them, about myself," Because that was her area of expertise. "They'd forget about you and move on to a new target. I could handle that." She finally looked over at Diana, looking for a reaction to the pins. Thankfully, it was a good reaction, and she liked them as much as Stella hoped. A wide grin spread onto her lips, and she wiggled excitedly.

"Yeah, I made them in my high school sculpture class. I can always make another one, if I needed to or something. But I figured you'd like them for you collection. My stickers aren't really worth much and I can't exactly show them off. Pins are nice though, I wonder why I never started collecting them." Stella wanted to ask how she got started on the pins and all, but then again, she figured that Diana would talk about herself if she wanted to do so. Stella didn't really want to repeat an awkward situation at the moment.

At the subject of her classroom, Stella hoisted herself on a students desk and tilted her head back, heels kicking at the bar. Her face fell into something of thought and Stella was quiet for a few moments. "You should repaint..." And a devious smirk replaced the thoughtfullness as she straightened up. "Well, maybe the posters you could take down, they're not thaat big of a deal. But you could repaint the ceiling. Repaint it a bright indigo color and then get more glowing paint. Make some constellations..." She got off the desk now, short kitten heels clicking on the the tiles as she walked, black pants just brushing the ground. Head tilted upward, Stella's arms were out, hands pointing above the lights.

"Orion could go here. And make the big dipper over here... and of course the little dipper and maybe a few shooting stars. The moon could go above your desk." Stella stopped, having come to the front of Diana's desk now. "I could help if you'd like."

"No." Diana murmured, running her fingers across the folded slip of paper. Painting would be a bad idea unless it was the solid grey they specifically asked for. Of course it reminded everybody of a prison, especially Diana, but it was regulation and she shouldn't have gone against those rules. "T-the Principal has what he he wants in his brain and that's how it will be." She rested her hip against the edge of her desk, fingers now running against another folded paper sitting on the top, underneath her pencil holder.

Her brain, set in two dimensional form. Compared to a normal brain, hers was set differently. Wires were crossed, although that was invisible...she couldn't understand, no matter how much she stared at the paper scan. Her brain was like a constellation. You couldn't really see the formations unless you looked closely enough and usually it wasn't worth the look in the first place.

"I'm sorry, I just can't go against it...w-what he wants." She nodded, taking her fingers away from the folded scan. Pills, appointments, anger over nothing. the fits in the bathroom, the crying, sleeping in her classroom. All due to a wiring issue in her pink little brain. "Do you have lunch?" She changed the subject, half smiling. "I have some I can share if you don't. Cheese sandwich and carrot sticks..." She pulled the bag from under her desk and dropped it on the top, pushing it forwards as an offering.

After a debated moment, Diana decided to speak. "Can...c-can I tell you something?" She pulled the scan from under the pencil holder and stepped forwards, thrusting her hand out nervously. "I act weird because of that. I'll give you my whole lunch if you can guess what that means."

Stella's face fell a little bit and she stopped smiling so much. "Oh. Okay." Maybe she would paint her own walls. What did it matter if she got yelled at? What did it matter if they fired her? She'd get let go once the other teacher came back anyway. What could they make her do? So she was going to do it. Stella was just going to paint her walls a color or scene or something. She was never that great at art, but she'd try her hand at it. And maybe she'd let the kids help! That would be a cute little project, their hand prints all over the walls with bright flowers springing up everywhere.

Blinking a few times and refocusing on Diana in front of her, Stella leaned back against a student's desk, again hoisting herself onto it. Another sincere smile spread onto her face, touched at the fact that Diana was willing to share. Stella shook her head, however, and grabbed her water bottle, cracking it open. "I'm not that hungry, really. This will do." She took a long sip, screwing the cap back on. At Diana's next words, Stella curiously inched forward, tenatively taking the paper from her plam. Unfolding it with a puzzled expression, she studied the hemispheres in mottled greys for a silent minute or so.

"Well, I'm not really a doctor." Stella joked, laughing a bit with a shrug of her shoulders. "I've never really seen one of these before, but from TV shows and stuff... Kinda looks like an MRI or something. Of a brain." And then it kinda clicked within her own brain and Stella placed the paper between them on Diana's desk, eyes going wide. "I-Is this your brain?" Not really knowing what to think, Stella tilted her head to the side a bit, trying to grasp at some sort of idea. "I don't get it, why did you have one of these done?"

The woman was silent as Stella studied the picture of her brain, trying to connect the dots. They were hard to connect, considering she hadn't given much to go on. Printed at the bottom was her name, age and condition, but she had taken quite a bit of white out to ensure nobody would see that last part. If it fell into the hands of another faculty member...she could only imagine the amount of ridicule.

"Yes, this is my brain. A normal brain doesn't have any of these blotches." Diana pointed them out as the paper was placed on her desk. "I'm not crazy or anything so please, don't be afraid." The last thing she needed was to make an enemy by saying the wrong thing and scaring the poor woman away. "I just figured you should know why I act the way I do. Why I freak out over the little things and I...just...I-I have issues." She gave Stella a crooked smile before continuing on, stepping over to the chalkboard to erase the rest of her handwriting. At least now her back would be turned. Any bad reaction would be hidden from her.

"I'm Bi Polar. I actually thought I was dying...I'd be happy one second and the next I would be beating down one of the bathroom stalls. There are pills, you know...I hate relying on them but they help, much like the Doctor promised me. That's my screwed up brain, though." She placed the eraser back on the ledge, resting her forehead against the board as she waited for a response.

Stella listened and watched, raising her eyebrows ever so slightly at the mention of being crazy. She didn't think that at all. Slowly, her legs came to a stop beneith the desk, and Stella eased herself to a standing position again. Crazy? That wasn't what she thought of Diana at all. Maybe a bit different, but definitely not insane-crazy. No, insane crazy would be... well not as quiet and reserved as Diana. Not soft-spoken and ready to speak their minds- if it was a good thing or not. As Stella realized she could be describing herself, she quickly tacked on 'speak their minds and speaks things that don't make sense' to the thought.

Taking a cautious step forward, Stella bit her lip, wanting to give Diana a hug. Though, she figured that wouldn't exactly be welcome. As she took another step toward the woman, Stella reached her hand out and tenatively placed it caringly on Diana's shoulder before removing it completely less then a second later. "That must be hard to deal with." She said softly, other hand sliding a piece of chalk across the metal bottom to the chalk board. Fingers lightly brushing Diana's, Stella looked up at her. "If you ever want to talk, I'm here to listen." Of course, as soon as Stella said that, she realized that they were doing just that. "Anytime, not just today."

Giving a quavering smile, Stella just felt the strange urge to comfort Diana. She wanted to be there for her and just help when she could. Stella felt like Diana needed her for some reason. Maybe it was just her own ego kicking in, but Stella felt compelled to be nice to this woman, show her some compassion because it seemed like no one else had. Diana deserved kindness, just like anyone else in the world. Afterall, she wasn't singled out with bipolar disorder, it just happened to be effecting her instead of someone else in the building.

There was a pressure on her shoulder that had lifted less than a second after she realized it was there. It took her a moment to figure out that Stella had wanted to comfort her. What would of happened if there had been a hug or Stella had continued to touch her shoulder? Nothing, Diana reassured herself. She would have dealth and accepted the comfort with a smile. She needed to get over this dumb nervousness around other people. Stella meant well and Di needed to understand that. Yes, the rest of the faculty disliked her but this woman seemed, well, nice.

"It is difficult but I deal." She agreed tilting her head to the side as their hands brushed. Something felt almost appealing about that tiny touch. Maybe it was the fact that she was vulnerable and Stella was stronger than her mentally at the moment. Or, maybe it was just her getting over the idiotic worries. She truly doubted it was the latter. "Thank you. I appreciate the fact that you are...h-here for me." It surprised her, really. Last time they had even the slightest conversation, she completely flipped out. She was lucky Stella was even speaking with her.

"Why aren't you freaked out around me?" Diana asked, turning her body to face Stella. "The rest of this school, even some of my students, feel awkward around me. I'm not quick enough in conversations, I'm not witty. The rumors are crazy and of course everybody believes them. It's like a hospital with all those sneaky little nurses." Her nose wrinkled at the thought. The amount of gossip she always overheard there was insane. "I just w-wonder why you're here, talking to me."

Stella had her typical mischevious grin on her face again, and she pulled away with her hand, not wanting to give up too much physical contact at one time. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Diana (again) and she didn't want to throw herself upon the poor woman. Her overbearing demeanor was a little much for a lot of people, and combining it with a fragile person didn't exactly work well. Stella just had to keep herself in check and make sure she didn't present anything too soon or too quickly. There would be bad endings, and Stella didn't want bad endings.

"I don't know the rumors." Stella shrugged, concentrating on the chalk dust her finger was twirling in. "No one told me. No one wanted to talk to me. I was new, they were new to me. I could have easily introduced myself, but some people find me just a bit too much to handle." She gave a small laugh. "My parents always told me that I was a star for a reason. Attention seems to find me like a magnet." And she couldn't help but relish in the spot light. "So I decided that I'd let people talk to me, which didn't seem to be happening, and then I saw you and you looked lonely." She shrugged, a pause falling in her words.

"But," Stella glanced up at Diana with a roll of her shoulders in a shrug. "I don't have a reason to be freaked out around you. If you hadn't told me about being bipolar, I never would have guessed." Her smile faltered. "I'm just not all that smart, but at least I know that." Stella took a step away from the board, the smell of chalk getting in her throat. Running a hand through her hair, pushing the deep gold waves off her face, Stella let the hand rest on her shoulder as she inhaled deeply. "I'm here talking to you because I want to get to know you better. I want to be your friend.

"I like stars." Diana stupidly murmured, shaking her head as she attempted to explain what she actually meant. "I mean it's not overbearing to me, you aren't. I enjoy your company." She shrugged, moving away from the chalkboard and back to her desk. There wasn't much left to be done and the kids would be back in soon. All she had left was, well, talking to Stella. "And I would like to be your friend. Gosh, I sound like I'm in third grade, not teaching it." Her fingers slid over the drawing of bears and stories she graded long ago but forgot to pass back. Sticker wrappers, her keys and then, finally, the scan of her messed up brain.

"You never would of guessed? Others assume I'm insane. I mean, I figured you would have eventually thought that as well. And you aren't dumb." Diana chewed on her bottom lip before staring up at Stella. Her leaning position on the desk was beginning to hurt and she repositioned herself to a more comfortable position. "I tend to look lonely a lot. I'm not, really. I have my job, the things I need. I guess I figured that was all I would ever want." She didn't require a relationship or anything and yet she felt she needed someone ther for her. Maybe a friend, like Stella, would be a good person to depend on for a while.

"I wonder...have you ever been to one of these websites?" She reached into her drawer and pulled out an orange card with a match maker website scribbled across it. "My...my ex gave it to me as a cruel joke. I wasn't g-going to to go on this or anything like that but have you ever tried one? This girl I new at one point used one...she found this man and fell in love. Turned out he was married with kids." She tapped the card with a sigh.

"Well, thanks." Stella blushed a bit. It was nice to know that one person appreciated her straight-forward attitude. And one person was all that mattered. She raised her shoulders and bounced on her feet excitedly. Just the prospect of knowing someone liked her a little bit and actually wanted to be her friend made her happy. Usually people were standoffish toward her, and then reluctantly became her friend because she was just that damn amicable. So many people had walked in and out of her life, friend and lover wise. All the relationships, of all kinds, always ended with 'You're great and all but...' and then some reason that Stella never heard. She always hung her head at that point, tears threatening to spill.

This, however, was quite the opposite from these feelings. Stella was bright and cheery as normal, and she was thinking about the possible things Diana and her could do together as friends. Maybe another coffee down the street would be nice. Maybe a shopping day at the mall. Was she getting too ahead of herself? Stella didn't want to get up hope, because just as easily Diana could isolate herself again and then neither of them would have anybody.

"I'm not that smart." Stella gave a short laugh, looking down at the chalkboard for a few seconds. "And everyone needs someone. A friend or family member or lover. Anyone to talk too. Being alone is nice, but I can't stand it all the time." She shook her head slowly. "Never in a million years would I have guessed you were bipolar, unless I was with you all the time. People have bad days and good days. Just hopefully the good outweigh the bad."
Stepping toward the desk again, Stella peeked at the card Diana set out on the desk. She read it and shrugged, tilting her head in a no response. "No, technology's never been on my good side." Stella joked, smirking and rolling her eyes. "I'm lucky I can send a text message to someone- of course, it takes me ten minutes." She laughed. "I'd rather just call them. And as for dating services, I dunno, they never intrigued me I guess. There could be a first time for everything though." Stella looked up at Diana. "How come you haven't put yourself on it?"

Diana thought it was fairly obvious as to why she never tried to create an account on a dating service website. "Not trying to be filled with self pity or anything like that but who would want to date me? I feel like it would only kill me more when nobody decided to even so much as go on one date with me." The woman stood, srugging her shoulders before returning to the chalkboard once more. After a moment of thought, she picked up her well-used peice of chalk and began to write the rest of the days assignments. "Sometimes I go to the mall and sit on one of those benches they have near the windows that are basically the size of the wall...I would watch the happy couples and think about how love is so stupid. How love is worthless and who really needed to worry about it? It sort of scared me."

She sighed, inhaling dust from the chalk. After a bit of a coughing fit, Diana dropped the chalk onto the ledge and stepped back to her desk. It seemed like that was all she ever did. Walk from one spot to the other.
"Anyways, this conversation is so upsetting. I didn't mean to bring it up. Gosh...what a sad topic." She shook her head, messing with the items in front of her as something to keep herself busy. "Uhm...w-what do yo like to do in your spare time? Besides collect stickers?"

Stella was realizing just how lonely Diana sounded. Going to the mall by herself. Thinking love was worthless. It saddened her, really. And it just made Stella want to befriend her even more. She wanted to make Diana laugh and cheer her up. She wanted to just hang out with her and spend time with her. Everyone needed someone to depend on, and Stella wanted to be that for Diana. It seemed like she never really had that in her life, at least, not right now in her life. Stella was good at those kind of roles because she hardly ever changed. She dealed with her problems and she liked listening as much as talking.

"Aw, Diana." Stella gave her a small smile, stepping her way. In a movement that was familiar to her, but probably not Diana, Stella wrapped her arms loosely around the other woman in a short hug. "For the record," She started, pulling away, "I'd go on a date with you." Stella grinned, keeping her distance after that, because she was sure that Diana wouldn't be exactly fond of the personal gesture. Hugging and the likes were very well versed in Stella's family and lifestyle. There was nothing better then the comfort of someone elses arms when it was really needed.

The subject changed, and Stella more then willingly answered it with a list of things as she bounced back and forth on her heels. "I like clothes and shopping. Jewelry is kinda my downfall. I love anything that shimmers, so I'll just buy anything that looks good on my hand or my neck or wrist or whatever." A sheepish smirk overcame her face. "Of course, I don't spend my money away, just on occassion. And I like doing girly things, like getting my nails done and such." At this, she looked down at her hands, stretching out her fingers. Overdue for some new polish.

"I dunno." Stella snapped her head back up. "I don't do much else besides work. I'm alone a lot of the time, when I'm not with my family. Watch TV, I guess." A pause fell as Stella took a breath, expression laced with curiousity now. "What about yourself?"

There was a moment during the short hug where Diana stiffened and tensed her entire body. It was purely habit, not fear of Stella. The other woman was trying to be a friend and help her while respecting her other issues, although she was breaking the "No Touching" rule. Maybe that boundary should be broken! Stella wasn't going to mentally hurt her like everybody else seemed to be set out to do. After the tension passed, Diana relaxed and lightly touched Stella's back in the start of a relaxed hug. It would take time for her to get used to the feeling, of course. Nothing happened over night.

The comment on dating was ignored, as it should have been. She moved to the counter holding paper and books, getting the tables ready for the children who would be coming back shortly. After a moment of chewing on her lower lip, Diana collected the books back up and pplaced them back on the shelf. The habit of reading everyday after recess was becoming boring. She would have them write a creative story about the characters in their favorite book or TV show. Wonderful.

Turning back around, Diana answered cautiously. Stella was a shopper, Diana was the opposite. "I don't do too much. One time I went to the Planetarium...I loved it." She smiled a bit before turning back around to organize the crayons and colored pencils on the counter. "Uhm...I'm here a lot. I like to read and I play piano a bit. Well, I sing more often than play but when I'm alone at home I like to make up little songs that make me happy and such. I'm not into shopping, really. I do enjoy picnics, driving around aimlessly. I like to just get up and go."

Stella felt the slight tense, but she figured it was probably natural for Diana to do that. In a few weeks time, Stella could get that to where they could interact differently. Friendly hugs were high up on Stella's list of favorite things. Though the quick gesture passed, she moved back toward the board, absentmindedly running her hand through her hair, pushing the dark gold strands off her face. With that, Stella realized, she hadn't done much this morning other then run a brush through it. She had been on a lazy streak or something.
The ignored comment was forgotten, because after all, Stella was only half joking. Not really, because she would go on a date with Diana, but she said that because she had said it in such a sad way that prompted Stella to respond in that manner. Stella was such a happy bubbly person, that she just wanted to bounce around and make the whole world happy, one person at a time. Her students loved that, how she always seemed to cheer them up even on a bad day. Thinking of students, Stella glanced at the clock, noting that she'd have to leave Diana soon. There was a bit of disappointment in her expression, as she wanted to bond with Diana more.

"The Planetarium?" Stella repeated curiously, stepping forward with a slightly raised eyebrow. "I've never been there." She didn't like being by herself, so she probably hadn't visited a lot of museums or displays because her family was a bit hyper-active (as was she) and couldn't stand in one room for too long. "We'll have to go sometime!" Stella exclaimed happily clapping her hands together once. She bounced forward toward Diana, obviously in an exhuberant mood. "Oooh! Singing and piano? That's really amazing. I can't carry a tune for my life." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "And I've never caught on to music. Tried playing clarinet once, for two years in middle school. But for whatever reason, music just never connected with me like that. I'm more of a rock person anyway. Not to say I can't appreciate the gift some people have." Stella beamed. "I like driving fast. My car can't really go that fast but my brother has some sort of Camero convertible or something, all decked out. He doesn't let me borrow it much, but once I told him my car was broken just to take it for a spin. Open roads are awesome."

Shutting her mouth, Stella realized how immature she sounded, and she looked down and away, a slight pink tinge to her cheeks.

"It's a wonderful place to go. I feel like a regular when I go there...I even get discounts sometimes because I've gone so much...I think they fee bad because I'm always alone but I really don't care. Again, why do you have to be with someone to be happy?" The bitterness in her tone was quickly washed away with fright. "No! I-I mean, I doubt you would like it." Diana spun around to face Stella with wide eyes. "Really, you're so...out there and it's a quiet, sitting place. I feel like you just...wouldn't enjoy it." She wasn't trying to be hurtful of course, she just honestly didn't think Stella would enjoy the Planetarium at all.

'You aren't dying. You're just Bi Polar. Sometimes making friends and going out with them helps...take it easy, take these pills. One in the morning, one at night and one if you feel a bit out of control. Try to be social! It helps.'

The flashback of her doctor from her last appointment had her deciding to invite Stella out. "But, you know what? I guess we'll never know until you go...we could go this weekend...if you aren't busy?" For a moment she was proud of herself. "Yes, singing and piano...I never liked music until recently." She was silent as Stella spoke about fast cars. That really wasn't what she had meant. She hated going fast in fear of, well, dying. When the other woman looked away and even seemed to blush a bit, Diana stepped forwards and tentatively placed a hand on her upper arm. "I love the open road-" She ripped her hand away when the bell rang and quickly stepped to the chalkboard, erasing and rewriting the new assignment.

"I'll see you later, I guess." She murmured over her shoulder, feeling the awkwardness flood back in.

The way Diana spoke of the Planetarium, she seemed to value it's existance highly. Which, it didn't take long for Stella to figure that out. Admiring this talkative side of the other woman, Stella eagerly looked on, the perfect grin still happily on her face. But when she got to her sentencing about Stella possibly not liking it, her grin faltered. Quavering lips gave way to a disappointed frown and a hurt expression on her brow. Confused, Stella looked down at her feet. She shouldn't be this upset about it. Maybe she wouldn't like this place. Trying to convince herself out of the idea of going, Stella almost missed Diana's change of mind.

"R-Really?" Her eyes grew wide and she slid off the desk with the makings of a smile back on her face. "I really want to know if I like it. You like it so much, I can't imagine it being horrible. I'm not all that loud, actually, and I do have the capacity to sit still." Stella nodded earnestly. "I'd love to go. And this weekend is perfect! I'm not doing anything." She never really did anything huge, or she could always cancel trivial things like a nail appointment. "It would be wonderful, and you could show me all around!"

The light touch on her arm surprised Stella at first, and she all but froze up. Lowering her voice volume and dimming the intensity of her smile, she didn't want to scare Diana off... again. The bell surprised them both and Stella visibly jumped toward the door. She smiled politely, bouncing out of excitement. "Yeah, I'll see you!" And then, as Diana's students filed in the door, Stella rushed back to her own classroom. It wasn't until her kids were seated and started on their assignment that Stella had time to breathe and think. Going out with Diana this weekend... It would just be two friends hanging out and they'd have a good time! Instantly she was looking forward to it.

Stella was gone in a flash and after explaining the change of plans to her curious third graders, Diana had a chance to sit behind her desk and think about the plans that were made. Pretending to grade papers, Di began to think of ways to back out of the arrangement, out of habit mostly. She hadn't noticed how much time was passing. Her students were nearly quiet the entire time, preferring to not talk than to be given another bullshit assignment from their distracted teacher. "Walk! Don't run!" She yelped as the bell rang and her students scrambled over themselves to leave the room and get to their buses on time.

As they rushed out, Diana decided she needed to talk to Stella with a serious attitude. No more stuttering and nervously beating around the bush. She was going to sit the perky woman down and, well, figure the confusing thoughts out. "I think you need to tune down the perky, like, times ten for a second." She said, entering Stella's temporary room with a crooked grin. "Not to be mean, I just need to talk to you." She bit at her finger, chewing her fingernails clean off. Well, she had chewed them off in the past few weeks, choosing to keep them short for the time being.

"I don't want to be rude and I don't want to make you feel awkward. I just...I'm easily nervous, as you've already figured out." She paused, sighing. "I know I've invited you to go to the planetarium with me and I do want to go but I tend to have these thoughts to back out and I really just think-" she paused once more, spitting out the first thing that came to her brain. "It should be a date." Coughing in shock of her words, Diana furrowed her eyebrows, shaking her head. "Wait...uhm. No...that wasn't...I'm...nevermind." She turned to leave. Fuck.

The rest of the day went by way to fast for Stella's liking, and she was in the middle of teaching when the bell rang. Calling a short rememberance to read a few pages each night as homework, Stella heaved a sigh as the last student walked out the door. She never had any 'teacher pets' or anything. Was she that over bearing that people, even little ten year olds, couldn't bear to spend another extra second with her, even if it was just sucking up? Muttering something about knocking off her own crap, Stella was surprised to hear a confident sounding Diana behind her.

"Oh!" Spinning around, Stella put a hand over her heart after she jumped. Damn, she was being skitzy today. With a quick shake of her head, she laughed lightly at herself. It wasn't until Diana was done talking that Stella brushed the smile off her face and was indeed surprised again. This time, to the point where she blinked a few times, and Diana was still standing there. But then she turned, and Stella all but threw her chalk down and took a few quick steps after the other woman.

"Diana, wait!" Stella bit her lip, reaching her hand out but not touching Diana. "I know you didn't mean that exactly how it came out." She explained in a quiet voice. "We can just make it official- an official spot at an official time where two specific people will meet and can enjoy the Planetarium together!" Remembering Diana's original words, Stella kept herself back, biting her lip again and bringing her arms in to wrap around herself.

"You don't know what I mean. Nobody but me knows what I mean and half the time even I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about!" She spun around to face Stella, anger written on her face although she clearly didn't understand why. Her stupid brain was overreacting because of something a normal person would brush off. Shaking slightly, Diana reached into her pocket and pulled out a little metal pill box with her name neatly engraved on top. A present to herself when somebody found her pill bottles. It was easier to hide and say it was a jewelry box for earrings orsomething of the sort. Pulling out the top, she pulled out one of her pills and quickly dry swallowed it with a frown.

"I-I'm sorry. I just don't know what I'm talking about. You're right, this is going to be fun and we're going to have a good time and I need to stop..." Nodding, she pushed her pill box back into her pocket, sighing just slightly. "This is ridiculous. I guess I just wanted to know what it felt like to go on a date when you've been alone for so long." She shook her head, turning to leave again. Tears, something she had grown used to, sprung to her eyes. Immediately the woman retreated to the bathroom cursing herself for, well, life.

Stella recoiled at the anger, inhaling sharply. Dizzy, it took her a second to regain her composure. At first, her face was pale with concern, but then it quickly rose to a pink blush of confusion. Stella had no idea what was going on anymore. Watching Diana with the pills, her puzzled expression only grew until she sifted through a few things in her mind. Was this what people were afraid of? Afraid to befriend her over? Because she spoke a few harsh words without meaning them? Stella just felt bad for the woman, and just wanted to help. That's all she was trying to do.

Frustrated as Diana left without another word, and without giving time for Stella to respond, she ran a hand through her thick hair, pushing it off her face. Fingers tugging at the strands, Stella debated with herself. Was she going to go after her? What if that just made Diana more upset? What if it helped her though? Finally deciding that she couldn't upset her any more right now, Stella quickly darted in the direction she saw her leave, and then paused in the hallway. It wasn't in the direction of her room... so it had to be... Well the bathroom wasn't that far off. And the door was just swinging shut.

Cautiously approaching the handle, Stella hesitated. What if Diana didn't want her help? What if Diana completely blocked herself from Stella? Throwing carlessness into the wind, Stella pulled the door open a few inches and slid inside, tenatively taking steps toward the sinks.

"Diana?" Her voice was laced with emotion and concern, a worried brow and frown set into her features. "Diana, why are you upset over this?"

Both hands gripping the cold porcelain of the bathroom sink, Diana found herself leaning over it, staring at her tears as they mixed with the running water. She jumped just a bit as Stella entered, removing herself from the sinks and walking towards the stalls while wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Stella, please leave." The woman whimpered, grabbing toilet paper to hopefully get her smeared eyeliner off of her face. When it was clear that the other woman wasn't going to leave, Diana turned and face her with large, sad eyes.

"This is why everybody hates me, basically. I'm perfectly fine and friendly and then I flip out on people and I take these pills that care the crap out of people. I'm not stable. You really shouldn't be near me or get to know me any better." Clearing her throat slightly, Diana kept her distance and stepped over to the mirror, cleaning her face off.

"And I was so upset because..." Diana groaned, rubbing at her head. She was getting a massive headache from all of this screwed up happenings around her. "I'm just so tired of being alone and I didn't realize it until I was given a chance to actually talk to someone." Feeling the tears well up again, Diana hung her head over the sink. "It's difficult to go home alone and go places alone when I can feel the happiness I get when I talk to you. I didn't have that before."

Stella leaned against the wall, pressing her palms against the tiles. She wasn't quite sure what to make of this, any of this. All she wanted to do was help Diana. Was it out of her hands? Could Diana not be helped? Was Stella doing this for nothing? What was she even trying to accomplish by all this? Stella shifted her weight from one foot to the other. If Diana didn't react so negatively to personal attention and physical touch, Stella would be hugging her, wiping her eyes for her, and trying to make her feel better.

Watching her cry like this made Stella's own eyes well up with sympathy tears. She just wanted to help. Not that crying herself would make any difference. Sniffing once, Stella took a few steps forward, hesitating before placing a comforting hand on Diana's shoulder. "You don't have to be alone." She whispered quietly. "I want to be there for you and I want to be someone you can talk to. I don't want to be like anyone else. They can't appreciate a beautiful woman when they see one."

As she talked, her voice went up a little bit, and then she took her hand off Diana's shoulder, knowing it would probably be more then enough. She resisted the urge to take a tissue and blot the other womans face. She resisted the urge to wrap her arms around her and just hug her until the tears stopped. She resisted the inate human urge to comfort someone who was upset. Stella hung back, toe scuffing the tiled floors as she waited to see if Diana got any better in just a few moments. She definitely wasn't leaving her alone like this.